Hopes and disappointment.
Aren't they the same thing?
Only one comes early and one after,
one for fools the other for losers
Both are mine
Both are felt
So how do they differ?
Cause in my life they're one and the same
Hope is now and disappointment later,
but all come from you


inka s

negative aura

I took one small step, and even smaller prayers
And so I tripped
I fell when they flew

My doings made disaster and my wishes had not come true
My head filled with angry music and angry thoughts
I curse people and threw away phones
I close the door of understanding and learning
I NEED to get it open
I just don't know how
So I write, and hope the negative aura be away soon

A hard day, isn't it?
A damn hard day
And yesterday, oh my God that was the worst
Worst than today? Hmmm, can't really say
I saw things that made me sick
I hear things that i don't really wanna hear
I thought about things that poluted my head
I felt bad things that won't go away
Useless? Ahaha maybe not
Depressing, definitely yes
Definitely yes a sh*tty hard day



inka s

Yang lama kembali mengejar
Yang masa kini tak mau maju
Yang akan datang terlalu cepat datang

Waktu, waktu, waktu
Seperti air beriak-riak
Ataupun benang kusut yang berkusut-kusut
Atau kekacauan yang berorak-arik



inka s

I felt tears behind my eyes
I felt the fire of envy
I felt the coldness of grief

I remember the dream
I remember the wishes
I remember the past

Ghost chasing ghost
Air reaching for air
Evil trying to grab evil





inka s

Life's just like a wheel
One day you're up, one day you're crushed
Tomorrow you laugh, next week you weep

True, what they say
But my life hasn't come full circle

Not yet, I hope


One day it will



inka s

Jika aku berbicara, akankah kau sudi mendengar?
Tapi...jika kutahu kau akan mendengar, akankah aku berani membiarkanmu
mengintip ke dalam hidupku?
Karena dulu aku hanya meringkuk ketakutan, dan berharap kau mendengar
Sekarang aku hanya menangis memeluk bantal, dan berharap dulu aku
bicara

Seandainya, seandainya aku bisa mengubah keadaan
Seandainya bisa kuputar waktu semudah membalik telapak tangan
Seandainya kutahu cara melangkah kembali melewati waktu, semudah
kumelangkah melewati pintu

Berhari-hari dan bertahun-tahun aku berdoa, berharap Tuhan mengabulkan
Akankah Tuhan mendengar doaku?
Tapi...jika harapanku menjelma nyata, lalu apa?
Akankah aku menjawab iya dan bukannya tidak?
Akankah aku membuka mulut dan bukannya membisu?
Akankah aku berbahagia dan bukannya menyesal?




inka s

...

So fun!

Now this is one thing that I wanna do,
lose myself!

I HAVE NO IDEA!!!

I have no idea of how my life is like
My dream to be invisible? Not a dream anymore
It's a fear, fear of being old and done
Fear of being too old and tired to try
Fear of being old and alone
Feels like I'm lost
Myself, my friends, my family, my school?
I'm losing everything that I had ever known
Am I losing my life?
I don't wanna be ordinary
I don't wanna be someone with no life
I wanna be outrageous, and courageous
I wanna be unexpected
I wanna lose myself and forget everything
I wanna shout and cry and laugh till there's no sound
I wanna kick and punch myself
I wanna get mad on her, my best friends, and all people in my life
I wanna give a kiss and hug, whispering "i love you" for once in my life
I wanna be "that girl"
I just wanna have fun




inka s

Benci dia. Ingin jauh-jauh dari dia.
Siapa dia? Dia temanku.
Tidak suka dia. Ingin menutup telingaku dari dia, memalingkan mukaku darinya.
Siapa dia? Dia yang terdekat denganku.
Tidak tahan dengan dia. Perkataannya, perilakunya. Huh!
Siapa dia? Dia seorang perempuan, perempuan yang dipertanyakan.

Adakah dia sadar tentang aku dan pikiran-pikiran jahatku?
Tidak, kuharap tidak.
Aku tahu aku jahat, aku tahu aku salah.
Aku tahu aku mungkin hanya iri.
Dan satu hal yang kutahu pasti, aku ingin menendangnya keluar ruangan.




inka s

Bisakah kamu membagi kue sama besar?
Tidak, pasti ada yang mendapatkan sedikit lebih banyak stroberi dan sedikit lebih banyak cokelat.

inka s

Bakar!
Bakar dia yang jauh!
Bakar dia yang asing!
Biarkan dia jadi abu, biarkan!
Biar tidak ada yang bisa memeluknya!
Biar aku bisa menyimpan abunya, hanya aku!
Biar aku bisa terus mengenangnya, dia abu!
Itu lebih baik daripada dia yang menghilang ke pintu hitam.

Bakar dia!





inka s

Beauty.
What is beauty?
Beauty is REALITY, not some lipstick or photo editing.
Beauty is me. Beauty is you. Us. Everyone.

inka s
*Baru lihat video di http://iheartmydailycoffee.blogspot.com/2006/10/perception-of-beauty_28.html . Sangat, sangat thought-provoking.

Time flows, ...

...or so everybody says. But I say no, it doesn't.

Time runs. Yeah, I guess that's what time does. It feels like time is running so fast around me, that I can't handle it anymore. But maybe it's just because I'm trying to stand still, I'm trying to be in the past and refuse to see what lies in front of me. I'm fighting the time. Trying to keep those memories alive, though my head keeps on telling me that they're dead. No, maybe long dead and buried for you, but a fresh wound for me. I'm trying to keep those memories alive, with their scars and their wounds. Painful, but alive.

You just went on, and sometimes it hurts to see you get up from that time oh so easily. I always love it when you smile and laugh, but it hurts the most when I know that your smile is not for me and your laugh is not because of me. And I don't even know why I'm still hoping for you. Why do I still bother?

I know I can't win it. No man can survive against the time. Not in this kind of battle.

Inka S

_______________________________________

*Iseng doang, heheh